if your url is longer than 21 letters you need to calm down
Did you just count the number of letters your url has and add one number?
i dont wanna go to college i wanna go to concerts
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
just like the population of Ireland during the Great Famine
history nerds are the best.
instead of taking birth control you can have sex at night bc the sperm are asleep + you won’t get pregnant
Are you a U.S. senator?
how to walk a mile: a 5280 step program
Let’s make out and play video games in our underwear.
Photo reblogged from ('-')/\('-') SIR KENDALL BRAHFELLOW DUDESQUIRE II. with 10,591 notes
these are the two most helpful sims 3 reviews on steam
and i approve this text post
Post reblogged from ('-')/\('-') SIR KENDALL BRAHFELLOW DUDESQUIRE II. with 202,094 notes
I want to do adult things with you
*moans* pay the mortgage
*breathes* go make sure we turned off all the lights, our utility bill was fucking $300 this month
When I was a kid, this white girl with green eyes said my eyes were ugly ‘cause they were the color of shit. I told her that her eyes were ugly cause they were the color of sick people’s boogers. She was so shocked that I wasn’t jealous of her eyes that she started to cry and told on me that I was making fun of her.
And there you have reverse racism in a nutshell
imagine if you woke up and your name was your url and you looked exactly like your icon
WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SLICE THEIR PALM TO GET BLOOD. do you know how many nerve endings are in your hand?!?! why don’t they ever cut the back of their arm or their leg or something omfg
me everytime a character in a movie has to get a few drops of their blood for some ritual bullshit (via jtoday)
WHILE WE’RE AT IT, why do people try to cross those skinny bridges over lava/chasms/whatever by walking upright. IT’S CALLED CENTER OF GRAVITY. get on your hands and knees and crawl across that thing. HUG IT. SCOOT YOUR BUTT ACROSS. “but i look stupid!” lalalala but we’ll avoid that ~dramatic moment~ where you almost fall over and die because your damn fucking self wanted to look COOL
and stop yanking IV lines out of your arms the minute you wake up in the hospital
That is a broadsword, why are you fencing with it(via gallifrey-feels)
"it’s not gay if it’s in a threeway" one straight man says to another straight man. there is a third straight man waiting in the bedroom. the rule somehow still applies.
Page 1 of 2037